So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
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I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.