If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.