Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Someone shattered a urinal.
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First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
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He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.