come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
