Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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