umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
