sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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