How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
this hospital has no fireball
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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