Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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