you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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