They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
