As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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