around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
