I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize