I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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