i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize