Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
