i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
