Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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