yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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