Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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