Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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