You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Barsexuality is the new black.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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