im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
