R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
