i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I need water and some morals
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