it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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