i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
