whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
