I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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