well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow