dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.