She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?