Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time