dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
