He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
