the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
