No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
