i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
