Already got asked if we're dating
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
