i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
