I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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