I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
