Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
