I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
