That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
