i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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