I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
