as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
