vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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