i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this just has baby written all over it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
