I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
