I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
