You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
