if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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