She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
