Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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