Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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