At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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