i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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